Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form (satirical text)

the real Syrian Free Press

Moderate Syrian Rebel Application FormPhotograph by RGA/REA/Redux.

~ Post’s pubblication suggested by “The Old Sniper” ~

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Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form

by Andy Borowitz – The Newyorker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — After announcing, on Thursday, that it would seek $500 million to help “train and equip appropriately vetted elements of the moderate Syrian armed opposition,” the White House today posted the following Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form:

Welcome to the United States’ Moderate Syrian Rebel Vetting Process. To see if you qualify for $500 million in American weapons, please choose an answer to the following questions:

As a Syrian rebel, I think the word or phrase that best describes me is:
A) Moderate
B) Very moderate
C) Crazy moderate
D) Other

I became a Syrian rebel because I believe in:
A) Truth
B) Justice
C) The American Way
D) Creating an Islamic caliphate

If I were given a highly lethal automatic weapon…

View original post 266 more words

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